mad dog 20-20

For years people have been telling me I needed to try Mad Dog 20-20 based on my love of Olde English and other sub-par drinks. The problem is that I can’t find it anywhere! I’ve been looking ever since I found out about it. When I moved to Downtown LA I was sure I’d be able to find some MD there, but alas, still none.

So today, I was running errands in the Pico Union part of town (for you non-Angelenos, American Mexico, you may have seen it on every episode of “Gangland”). I thought to myself, “Surely I’ll find some Mad Dog here!” I went into the nearest liquor store as soon as I got my brilliant idea, cutting across three lanes of course.

The store was what you would expect of a liquor store in the hood: one well guarded door and thick plexi-glass barricading the cashier inside the clear liquor cage. I walked back to the refrigerated section. Nothing. So I walked to the front. A North African man was behind the thick plexi-glass and I had to yell for him to hear me. “Hello! Do you have Mad Dog and I’m somehow missing it?”

Him: “What?”

Me: “Mad Dog. Do you have any?”

Him: “No. What is it?”

Me: “Like Four Lokos and wine.”

Him: “No. Where do you live?”

Well, I thought this was a fairly odd question, and now there was a line forming behind me. If there’s one thing I’ve learned from the not-so-savory company I sometimes keep, it’s that you never tell anyone where you live.

Me: “West Hollywood.”

Him: “How often do you drink? Twice a week?”

Me: “Oh no.” You have to say no to questions like that or people think you’re a lush.

Him: “I will special order a case for you if you come back here. What kind?”

Now that I had been yelling about Mad Dog I couldn’t let him know that I’d never actually had one. I mean, this man was offering to buy a case of the elusive drink just for me. I quickly thought of my favorite Otter Pop flavor, not having any idea if it was a Mad Dog flavor.

Me: “Grape.”

Him: “I will see you soon and order some grape Mad Dog.”

So, that’s the story of how a little white girl in braids got a man behind bullet-proof glass in a liquor store in the hood to over a case of grape Mad Dag 20-20.

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