resolutions

I’m going into my 23rd New Year and have realized one thing: I’ve NEVER kept any of my resolutions. It’s not because I make resolutions that are outrageous and unattainable, it’s because I’m just not a goal person. And let’s face it, resolutions are goals. They are things you want to accomplish in the upcoming year. But, I’m not like that. If I set a goal, and it’s too hard, I just give up and do what I want. For example, if I’m running, I’ll think to myself, “I’ll just run to the stop sign up ahead then walk,” but if I get tired before then, I’ll just stop and walk.

So, with that in mind, here are my resolutions. I’m hoping that sharing them with you lovely, goal oriented people will help me keep them in the upcoming year.

 

1. I WILL get in shape this year. This is a perpetual resolution on my list, as it is for many people, but this time I mean it. I’m not a super obese fat ass, but I can stand to lose some poundage. There’s no weight associated with this resolution though. Just simply to get in shape.

2. Only eat out once a week. I am a Dollar Menunaire and a firm believer in Fourth Meal. This must stop!… starting the first.

3. RUN a half marathon. I have wogged (walk-jogged) a half marathon in the past, but I’m slated to do the OC Marathon in May and the goal is to run the whole thing. There’s half marathons all year long, so if I can’t run this whole thing, then by the end of the year I WILL run a whole half marathon.

4. Finish my novel, screenplay and teleplay. As many of you know, I’m a fantastic project starter, but finishing them is a whole different story. Since this is what I’m planning on doing with my life, completion is crucial. So, my resolution is to finish my projects.

5. Read one book a month. There’s really no excuse not to be able to do this. One book in a whole month. Even people with no time can do this. There’s so many books and so little time! One a month puts me 12 books closer to reading everything in the world.

6. Stop hating everyone and everything. I make fun of just about anything possible and in general don’t like people (hence why I’m a writer, not a customer service rep). I mean, I don’t really hate everything, but most things. Like babies, people that don’t clean up their dog’s shit, people who wear white after Labor Day, people with stretch marks and beer bellies wearing bikinis at the beach; you know, that type of thing. So I guess, tolerance and patience is the resolution here. This will easily be the hardest one for me (yes, running 13 miles and writing a novel will be easier than being nice to people).

7. Grow out my eyebrows. This may sound weird, but anyone who knows me probably knows that my eyebrows are magical. One day they are there, and the next they disappear. Well, this year, I’m doing everything in my power to grow these bad boys back to their original shape (within reason of course, no one wants bushy brows).

8. Read the Bible in a year. This goes hand-in-hand with my fitness goal in that it is something I have been trying to do since I discovered the Bible. So this year, I will finally read the whole thing!

9. Learn a third language (and become fluent in Spanish). I speak English and moderate Spanish, but I’m from so many different cultures that I really want to learn a third language as well. It’s currently between Russian and German. I’ll keep you posted.

10. Learn a new word every day. I have an app on my BlackBerry for this, and yet I still fail to do it. Now, anyone will tell you my vocabulary is already too large and that this is a ridiculous idea, but I disagree. There are so many words in the English language, there is no reason not to try and learn them all, no matter how useless some of them are.

These are my top ten resolutions. They seem almost too ambitious, but I assure you, I left the ambitious ones out (i.e. give up Snus, drink only once a week, watch less South Park, etc.). I’ll probably come up with a few more, but these are the most important resolutions. Happy New Year to you all and good luck with your resolutions as well!!

 

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