snooze

No one likes the alarm clock. It’s this horrid loud thing that jolts you out of your dreams and brings you back to the real world. Just as the office hottie was about to hop into bed with you, an intolerable buzzing entered the scene and you were brought back to real life where your overweight, middle-aged husband is lying next to you, his snoring almost as loud as the alarm. Or maybe you were hanging out on a patch of clouds smoking a joint with God and right as he was about to tell you what the meaning of life is, heaven’s fire alarm goes off and the clouds slip away, but the ringing gets louder and you realize you have to get the kids ready for school. But you want just a few more seconds to reach the climax of your dream. That’s all you need! You worked so hard all night to reach this point. So you frantically flop your hand around in the dark looking for your one hope of salvation: the snooze button. There are few things in this world as under appreciated as the snooze button. Sometimes it gives you 5 more minutes with God, sometimes 10 with the hottie, but regardless, it gives you momentary relief from the god-awful alarm monster and his menacing accomplice Life. It’s like a lover who slowly pokes at you in the morning to wake you up gradually, rather than expecting you to jump out of bed and immediately start your day.
Yes, the snooze button is man’s unrecognized best friend.

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