The thing about the question “how are you?” is no one really ever means it and no one ever answers it. We have scripts in our heads about what to say when we are asked a certain question.

“Hey, how are you?”

“Good thanks. How are you?”

“Doin’ well. Thanks for asking.”

That’s a script. If people started giving honest answers, this dumb question would be obsolete.

“Hey, how are you?”

“Well, it burns every time I take a piss, I have no job and no direction in life, I have severe insomnia and may be manic depressive. On the bright side, I found $5 in my pants pocket. How are you?”

“Well, my shrink says I’m a sex addict, I got arrested for a DUI and have to enroll in AA, my ex has a restraining order against me, and I just got a letter saying I apparently fathered a kid in the Philippines. Thanks for asking.”


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